Artemis Fowl songs!
by Heiki koboi
Summary: First it's my favourate things by Opal Koboi, then we have AF Grease, then it's your request. They're worth it. Just look at the reviews. Check out my to quote a review "Humourously epic" FF.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: ****This is the song 'my favourate things' but done to suit Opal, please ****review****!**

**Opal's Song**

**Opal: Dying Root and whiskers on monkeys,**

**Artemis: Lemur!  
Opal: bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens,  
different enemies tied up with string,  
these are a few of my favourite things.**

Brown coloured truffles and doubledex wings,  
door bells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles.  
Capturing Holly with all her wings. 

**Holly: ONCE!  
Opal: These are a few of my favourite things.**

Hostages begging with tears in their eyelashes,

**Root: I did NOT!  
Opal: my brand new army with colour complementing sashes  
when I capture Artemis and have fun with him**

**Grub: eww.**

**Artemis: that's not what she means.  
Opal: these are a few of my favourite things.**

When the dog bites, when my plans go wrong, 

**Artemis: every time.  
Opal: when I'm feeling bad,  
I simply remember my favourite things,  
and then I don't feel so sad.**

Playing with Goodboy and Twinkie and toms,

**Vinyaya: How old are you?  
Opal: bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens,  
brown paper packages containing bombs,  
these are a few of my favourite things.**

Cream truffles and crisp fried LEP staff,  
door bells and sleigh bells and killing all poodles.  
LEP shot down with holes in their wings.  
these are a few of my favourite things.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, 

**Minerva: how cute!**

**Artemis: Opal's evil! Don't agree with her! Girls!  
Opal: snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes, **

**All: Of course.  
Opal: great dastardly plans that I will spring;**

**Artemis: More like Bastardly.  
Opal: these are a few of my favourite things.**

When the LEP comes, when the bee stings,  
when |I'm sat in prison, 

**Holly: *looks smug*  
Opal: I simply remember my favourite things,  
and then I don't feel so madddddddddd.**

**All: But you are!**

**Opal: Am not, mwhahahaha!**

**A/N: How was it?**


	2. Chapter 2: Summer lovin' grease sorry

**A/N:**** First I would like to apologise. Me and my BF are trying to get a part in the schools production of Grease, and she insisted I make AF ones. Sorry again. If you would like to come murder me for doing this, please leave a review (for my friend's address, you have my full permission, and even thanks, for killing her). :-). **

[Artemis]  
Summer lovin' had me a blast (literally)

[Holly]  
Summer lovin' happened so fast,

[Artemis]  
I met a girl crazy as can be,

[Holly]  
Met a boy clever as can be

[Both]  
Summer days flyin' away, but oh-no those summer nights

[Everyone]  
Uh Well-a well-a well-a huh

[LEP]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[Doodah]  
Did you get very far?

[Juliet]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[Vinyaya]  
Like does he have a shuttle?

[Everyone]  
Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh

[Artemis]  
She flew by me, I kidnapped her

[Holly]  
He ran by me, got his suit damp  
I saved his life, he nearly died

[Artemis]  
She showed off, shooting around

[Both]  
Summer sun, something's begun, but oh-no those summer nights

[Everyone]  
Uh well-a well-a well-a huh

[Juliet]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[Vinyaya] (hopeful)  
It was hate at first sight?

[Trouble]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[Butler]  
I had a fight

[Everyone]  
Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh

[Artemis]  
Took her guns, put them away

[Holly]  
I hit him, got them all back

[Artemis]  
Froze time, before ten o'clock

[Holly]  
I killed him, thought he'd blown up  
Summer blast, my hate won't last, but oh-no those summer nights

[Everyone]  
Uh well-a well-a well-a huh

[LEP]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[Grub]  
But you don't gotta helmet

[Vinyaya]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[Trouble]  
Cos he sounds like he's mad

[Everyone]  
shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop,shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, YEH

[Holly]  
He got friendly, holding my hand

[Artemis]  
She got friendly, down in the zoooooo.

[Holly]  
He was strange, just turned thirteen,

[Artemis]  
She punched me hard, it was mean

[Everyone]  
Woah!

[Both]  
Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but oh-no those summer nights

[Everyone]  
woo, woo, woo

[Juliet]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[ Root]  
How much dough did Mulch steal?

[LEP]  
Tell me more, tell me more

[N°1]  
She is my friend.

[Holly]  
He lied to me - that's where it ends

[Artemis]  
So I told her we'd still be friends

[Holly]  
Then we made our time travelling vow

[Artemis]  
Wonder where she is now

[Both]  
Summer dreams ripped at the seams,  
bu-ut oh no, those su-ummer nights....

**A/N:**** *hides behind sofa * don't kill me! More grease to come, just kill my friend if you have any complaints. **


	3. Juliet's song

**A/N:**** Hello, well, this is Juliet's version of beauty school drop out. As I said before, sorry. R&R!**

**Magiske-Fingrer**: **Here it is!**

**VinyayaMinerva****: Thanks for reviewing both songs. Others could learn a lot from you *hint hint* You were right, 'tears in there lashes' goes much better. And you're better off without music sense for this ff.**

**Little LEP****: Thank you so much, that really made me smile. *smugly grins at own work*. **

**Gnomee-The-Gnome****: I'm glad you were, but my friend helped write it too so I don't get all the credit. **

**Emmafer:**** There's always one, isn't there? Oh well, I'm doing grease for AF now so they cannot delete me, Mwhahahaha!**

Your story sad to tell  
A teenage ne'er do well  
Most mixed up non-delinquent on the block

your futures so unclear now  
what's left of your career now  
can't even get a trade in on your smile  
butler school dropout  
no blue diamond for you  
butler school dropout  
missed your mid-terms and flunked shooting  
well at least you could have taken time,  
to wash and clean your weapons up  
after spending all that dough,  
to have the doctor fix his nose up

better get movin  
why keep your feeble hopes alive  
what are you provin  
you've got the dream but not the drive

if you go for your diamond you could join Myles and Beckett  
turn in your jade ring and go back to Butler school

butler school dropout  
hanging around the shuttle port  
butler school dropout  
it's about time you knew the score

well they couldn't teach you anything  
you think you're such a fighter  
but no principle will go to you  
unless they were Grub

baby don't sweat it  
you're not cut out to hold a job  
better forget it  
who wants protection by a slob?

now your bangs are curled your lashes twirled,  
but still the world is cruel  
wipe off that angel face and go back to Butler school

baby don't blow it  
don't put my good advice to shame  
baby you know it  
even dear Holly'd say the same

now I've called the shot,  
get off the pot, I really gotta fly  
gotta be going to that weapon shop in the ground

butler school dropout (butler school dropout)  
go back to butler school  
butler school dropout (butler school dropout)  
go back to butler school  
butler school dropout (butler school dropout)  
go back to butler school


	4. Chapter 4: Stranded at the shuttle port

Stranded at the shuttle port  
Branded a fool  
What will they say Monday in Haven?

Holly can't you see that I'm a misery  
Made a start now we're apart  
There's nothing left for me  
Love has flown all alone  
I sit and wonder why-y-y-y-y oh why?  
You left me  
oh Holly

Oh Holly Baby  
Someday when saving the world is done  
Somehow, someway our two worlds will be one  
In haven forever and ever we will be  
Oh please say you'll come  
Oh Holly

*SAID*  
Holly my darling  
You hurt me real bad  
You know it's true  
But baby  
You gotta believe me  
When I say  
Your punch really hurt

*SUNG*  
Love has flown all alone  
I sit and wonder why-y-y-y-y oh why?  
You left me  
Oh Holly

Holly  
Holly-y  
Why-y-y-y-y  
Oh Holly


	5. Chapter 5: You better shape up!

**A/N: ****This is…you better shape up! The grand grease finale song! (Except that 'we go together' one which I'm currently doing. Enjoy!**

B= boy/ Artemis  
G=Girl/Holly  
B: both

G: Tell me about it Arty!

B: I got chills.  
They're multiplyin'.  
'cause we're in the Arctic.  
'Cause the rad  
it's supplyin',  
it's electrifyin'!

G: You better shape up,  
'cause we need that train  
and I want my finger back too  
You better shape up;  
you better understand  
to my heart I must be true.

B: Nothin' left, nothin' left for me to do.

Artemis: You're the one that I want.  
(you are the one i want), o,o, oo, holly.  
The one that I want.  
(you are the one i want want), o,o,oo, holly.  
The one that I want  
(you are the one i want want), o,o, ooooo  
The one I need.  
Oh, yes indeed.

G: If you're filled  
with affection  
you're too shy to convey,  
meditate in my direction.  
Feel your way.

B: I better shape up,  
'cause you need a plan  
G: i need a plan  
That can save all Haven.  
B: I better shape up  
if I'm gonna prove  
G: you better prove  
that my faith is justified.

B:Are you sure?  
Both:Yes, I'm sure down deep inside.

You're the one that I want.  
(you are the one i want want), o, o, oo, Holly.  
The one that I want.  
(you are the one i want want), o,o,oo, holly.  
The one that I want  
(you are the one i want),o, o, oo  
The one I need.  
Oh, yes indeed.

**A/N: ****If there is any more songs/musicals you want me to mess with, please leave a review saying what. Danke, ****. **


	6. Chapter 6: We go together!

**A/N: ****here is the grand finale of Grease: the AF musical! Please review! **

**Artemis and Holly**: We go together like  
**Artemis**: hydrogen and water  
or C6H12O6(s)+O2(g)→CO2(g)+H2O!

**everyone glares at Artemis**

Artemis: Sorry.  
Holly: remembered for ever like  
my Hamburg incident (except the people with a mind wipe).

**[Holly, Artemis, Juliet & Butler]  
**flying to the freezing artic and rescuing  
Arty's dad  
That's the way it shouldn't be  
Wha oooh yeah!

**[All]  
**We're one of a kind  
'cause Arty's a genius,  
and Mulch is a infamous kleptomaniac,  
Foaly is genius centaur,  
who always annoyed Julius,

**Julius**: Don't call me Julius,  
D'Arviten Centaur!  
Holly is the first female recon,  
Juliet is a kung fu cage fighter 'the jade princess',  
Butler kicks—

**Artemis:** We'll always be like one  
**Grub:** Wa-wa-wa-waaa!

**Holly (sighing): **What Grub?

**Grub: **I stubbed my toe!

**All:** When we go out at night  
And stars are shinin' bright  
We start shooting enemies  
Or at the police plaza,

Where you can find Root interrogating Artemis,  
Maybe it might be him, but it was O-o-o-o-opal.

**[All]  
**Ra-ma la-ma la-ma ka ding a da ding de dong  
Shoo-bop sha wad-da wad-da yipp-it-y boom de boom  
Chang chang chang-it-ty chang shoo-bop

**Mulch: **It sounds like the shuttle isn't healthy…  
Dip da-dip da-dip doo-wop da doo-bee doo  
Boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-ed-y  
Shoo-by doo-wop she-bop  
Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na yip-pit-y boom de boom

**Mulch: **Seriously, not good.  
Ra-ma la-ma la-ma ka ding-a de ding de dong  
Shoo-bop sha wad-da wad-da yipp-it-y boom de boom  
Chang chang chang-it-ty chang shoo-bop  
Dip da-dip da-dip doo-wop da doo-bee doo

**Mulch: **Fine, don't believe me, you won't get any of my beetle and woodlouse sandwich.  
Boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-e-dy boog-e-dy  
shoo-by doo-wop she-bop  
Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na yip-pit-ty boom de boom

**Artemis **A wop ba-ba lu-mop

**Holly**: A wop bam boom

**Artemis: **We're for each other like  
when we went back in time for Jayjay,  
**Juliet: **Just like my brother is  
Sha na na na na na yip-pit-y dip de boom  
Chang chang chang-it-ty chang shoo-bop  
We'll always be together  
Wha oooh yeah!  
We'll always, be together  
We'll always be together  
We'll always be together  
A wop ba-ba lu-mop a wop bam—

**BOOM!**

**Holly: **D'Arvit, the shuttle just exploded.

**Mulch: **Now we have to walk to get stinkworms.

**A/N: ****Did I pull it off OK? This one was hard to do. Please review! Also, if you have any songs you want me to 'Artemis-ize' please leave a review with the name of the song and I will do it. **

**Bethany****, you are not allowed to leave a review with a song. Tell me in person. **


	7. Chapter 7: Think of Me

**A/N: ****At request here is an Artemis-ized version of 'Think of me', it's A/H by the way. So anyone who can't even tolerate A/H I'm very sorry. Enjoy and review!**

**Holly:**

Think of me,  
think of me, Artemis,  
when we've said  
goodbye.  
Remember me  
once in a while -  
please promise me  
you'll try to not only hang out when we're in mortal danger.  
**  
Root to Mulch:**

When you find  
that, once  
again, you long  
to give the gold back  
and be free –

**Opal in her cell:**

if you  
ever find  
a moment,  
spare a thought  
for me ...

**Holly:**

We never said  
our love  
was evergreen,  
or as unchanging  
as the swear toad -  
but if  
you can still  
remember,  
stop and think  
of me ...

Think of all the things  
we've done and said -  
don't think about the way  
things might have been if you hadn't lied...

Think of me,  
think of me waking,  
silent and  
resigned from Recon.  
Imagine me,  
trying to hard  
to put you  
from my mind.

Recall those days,  
look back on  
all those times,  
think of the things  
we shouldn't do (but did anyway) -  
there will  
never be  
a day, when  
I won't think  
of you ...

**Artemis:**

Can it be?  
Can it be Holly?

D'Arivit!

Long ago  
it seems so long ago  
how young and un-innocent I were  
She may  
not remember  
me, but  
I remember  
her ...

**Holly:**  
We never said  
our love  
was evergreen  
or as unchanging  
as the swear toad -  
but please  
promise me,  
that sometimes,  
you will think  
of me!

**A/N: ****Well? Did I manage it? it was a difficult one to do. I'm happy to take any more requests! Please review! **


	8. Chapter 8: Elvin Girl!

**A/N:**** Come on, I'm doing AF songs and you think I couldn't include Uptown girl?**

Oooohhhh,

Elvin girl,

She's been livin' in her underground world,

I'll bet she never had a human guy,

I'll bet her mother told her why,

I'm gonna try,

For an Elvin girl!

She been livin in her underground world,

Those sprites won't do it anymore,

And now she's looking for an up top man,

That's what I am,

And when she knows, what she wants from her time,

And when she wakes up and makes up her mind,

She'll see I'm not so bad, just because I kidnapped her,

I'm in love with an Elvin Girl,

You know I seen her in her underground world,

She's getting tired of her sexist boss,

And all the work on the Goblin rebellion,

She's got her problems,

Ooooooohhhhhhhh,

Elvin girl,

You know I can afford to buy her pearls,

But maybe someday when we travel in time,

She'll understand what kinda guy I am,

And then I'll lie and ruin it all,

And when she's walking she's looking so fine,

And when she's talking she says that she's mine,

She'll say I'm not so weird, just because I'm in love,

With an Elvin girl,

She been livin in her underground world,

And she's tired of stinkworm eating sprites,

And now she's looking for a up top man,

That's what I am,

Oooooohhhhhhhh,

Elvin girl, she's my Elvin girl,

You know I'm in love with an Elvin girl,

My Elvin girl,

You know I'm in love with an Elvin girl,

My Elvin girl,

You know I'm in love with an Elvin girl,

My Elvin girl.

**A/N:**** Please R&R&R, Read, Review and Request! **


	9. Chapter 9: Complex: Atlantis

**A/N: ****Sorry, I just had to post these lyrics on here! **

**LEP Lover:**** Thank you for reviewing every chapter! I will try, although I have never heard of Free falling but I will search it and try my best! I'm glad you like them! **

**M****ischievous101****: Did I spell D'Arvit wrong? Typeo! **

**Feline jade: ****Hee Hee, I'm glad you like them! **

**HarryPercyArtemisWarriorsFan****:**** Yes! A thousand times yes! **

**RAHBooks: ****I love The Phantom of the Opera too, so much I had to vandalize it! Someone requested me to so…**

**Complex: Atlantis. **

Get it together, Artemis  
Something had better  
Explain what's amiss  
Don't you forget  
You're better than this.

It's complex  
Complex: Atlantis

Got your head so deep in a state  
You think your someone else  
You're seeing numbers all over the place  
I don't know, I'm not sure  
If I can trust anything that you say,  
When I know your not yourself.  
You need to get back to me today  
Or we're gone for good.

Root's older brother's  
back from the sea.  
Art, ditch your other.  
Come back to me

It's complex  
Complex: Atlantis

Got your head so deep in a state  
You think your someone else  
You're seeing numbers all over the place  
I don't know, I'm not sure  
If I can trust anything that you say,  
When I know your not yourself.  
You need to get back to me today  
Or we're gone for good.

You were a hundred percent,  
Before you mind got all bent...  
Mathematically (echo: Mathematically)  
Get your good half free.

Your seeing numbers all over the place  
I don't know, I'm not sure  
If I can trust anything that you say,  
When I know your not yourself.  
You need to get back to me today  
Or we're gone for good.

You've got your head so deep in a state  
You think your someone else  
You're seeing numbers all over the place  
I don't know, I'm not sure  
If I can trust anything that you say,  
When I know your not yourself.  
You need to get back to me today

Get it together, Artemis… 

**A/N: ****I'll be updating again very soon with requests, and more. Review to make me update quicker!**


	10. Chapter 10: Just read it, I'm not saying

**A/N: ****Hi people! I told you I would update soon, although I would appreciate reviews, thank you to the four who did though ^.^. Anyway, I was going to update with something else but I got really bored in French (Boo for French!) and wrote these. Artemis-ized 'Roses are red, Violets are blue…' bits. Enjoy, and R&R&R!**

**Artemis: **Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I see fours,

And lots of fives too.

**Holly:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

You kidnapped me,

So I'm punching you.

**Opal:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Don't think of me,

'Cause I can hear you.

**Mulch:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

But who cares,

Gold's so much better,

(Oh – was this meant to rime?)

**Foaly:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

This centaurs paranoid,

And with good reason too.

**?:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Butler hates poems,

I wasn't writing one, honest.

**Juliet:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Jade rings are green,

And good for kicking ass too.

**Opal:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I hate Mervall,

And Scant Brill.

**Holly:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I kissed Artemis,

And he kissed me too.

**Root:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Now get back to work or I'll cut your payment

And your days off too!

**Opal to Artemis:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I've gone insane,

And now so are you.

**Artemis:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I am genius,

I outwitted you.

**Mulch:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I broke wind,

Now you smell too.

**Grub:** Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

This one's got a thorn in!

Whaaaa!

**Trouble: **Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

My brother's a wimp,

Sorry about him and the fact this doesn't rime.

**?: **Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I've stopped writing these,

So you must stop reading too.

**A/N:**** You heard me! R&R&R! (Read, Review, and Request songs for me to vandalize!)**


	11. Chapter 11: Opal's second song!

**A/N:** **Hallo! I have done "everybody wants to rule the world" by Tears for Fears at the request of ReadrOfBooks! Enjoy!**

**Feline Jaye: ****Challenge accepted!**

**No Name:** **OK, I'll have a look at some Wicked songs! **

Opal:

Welcome to my lair  
There's no turning back  
Even while you sleep  
You will find me acting on my worst behaviour  
Turn your back on Artemis Fowl  
I just want to rule the world.

It's my own design  
It's my own rein  
Help me to overthrow the LEP  
Help me make the most  
Of freedom and of pleasure (by submitting, you are NOT helping me plan!)  
My memory lasts forever  
I just want to rule the world.

There's a room where the light won't find you (your eternal prison)  
Holding hands while you tumble down (Holly and Arty – you romantic fools!)  
When the LEP come I'll be right behind you. (yeah right!)  
So glad we've almost made it  
So sad they had to steal my truffles  
I just want to rule the world.

I can't stand this being defeated!  
In a shuttle with a lack of truffles,  
I just want to rule the world.  
Say that you'll never never never never think of me (I CAN hear you!)  
One headline why believe it?  
I just want to rule the world.

**A/N:**** Cheesey, I know, what did you think? R&R&R! **

**PS: You should know what R&R&R means by now guys!**


	12. Chapter 12: WE WILL ROCK YOU!

**A/N:** **WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU! Enough said. Enjoy. **

Buddy you're a boy make a big bang  
Playin' in the lab gonna be a big genius some day  
You got soot on yo' face  
Holly: You're chemical fusion obviously went wrong then?  
Fusin' your particals all over the place.

fusin'

C6H12O6(s) and  
O6(g)

Holly: Arty you're a young man but I still have to stand on a chair to see your face!  
Fusin' in the lab gonna blow up the house some day  
You got soot on yo' face  
Holly: You're chemical fusion obviously went wrong then?  
Fusin' your particals all over the place. 

I will outwit you!

Singin'

I will out outwit you!

Holly: Arty you're an young man TALL man  
Opal: Pleadin' with your eyes ain't gonna make me change my plans to kill you

You got soot on your face  
Holly: You're chemical fusion obviously went wrong then?  
Somebody better stop you playing with Erythritol tetranitrate 

Opal: I will I will kill you 

Singin'

Artemis: I will I will outwit you

Singin'

Holly: I will I will punch you

Holly and Artemis: We will we will ruin your plan

Holly and Artemis: We will we will ruin your plan

**A/N: ****Well? R&R&R! **


	13. Chapter 13: UnInnocent

**A long A/N: ****One: can I PLEASE have more reviews? And requests? Two, here is Innocent by David Cook! If you have never heard it, youtube it NOW because it is the best song ever! I love it so much, it is really soulful. I love the Tina verse. Beautiful. So, naturally, I had to vandalise it. It is set before book 1. R&R&R! ENJOY!**

Oh, Arty wishes he was famous  
Spends his time alone  
In the lab  
With a microscope and test tube  
A beaker and a Petri dish.  
While he wishes he  
Could escape this  
It all seems so contagious  
To be a criminal and ruthless  
In a world that has no soul

I remember feeling low  
I remember losing hope  
I remember all the feelings  
And the day they stopped (when Holly came)  
We are,  
We are all un-innocent, we are all un-innocent  
We are, we are, we are  
We are all un-innocent, we are all un-innocent  
We are, we are

Oh, Holly's losing faith in what she knows  
Hates her job  
Hates all of her colleagues  
Thinks of Lili  
And her annoying voice  
Every day is a war  
While she wishes she  
Was a recon  
And that she'd never  
Heard of humans  
She wishes Frond would give her  
Some answers  
And make her feel beautiful

I remember feeling low  
I remember losing hope  
I remember all the feelings  
And the day they stopped (when Holly came)  
We are,  
We are all un-innocent, we are all un-innocent  
We are, we are, we are  
We are all un-innocent, we are all un-innocent  
We are, we are

[To Holly] One day  
You'll have to let it go (of the hatred of humans),  
Oh  
[To Artemis] One day  
You'll stand up on your own, you'll stand up on your own  
Yeah  
Remember losing hope,  
Remember feeling low,  
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped 

We are,  
We are all un-innocent, we are all un-innocent  
We are, we are, we are,  
We are all un-innocent, we are all un-innocent  
We are, we are

We are,  
We are all un-innocent  
(One day, you'll have to let it go, you'll have to let it go)  
We are all un-innocent  
We are, we are, we are,  
We are all un-innocent, we are all un-innocent  
We are, we are

We are,  
We are all un-innocent  
(One day, you'll stand up on your own, stand up on your own)  
We are all un-innocent  
We are, we are, we are,  
We are all un-innocent, we are all un-innocent  
We are, we are

We are... we are all un-innocent...

**A/N: ****I want ten reviews before I update next. **


	14. Chapter 14: Time Warp Yes,that's right!

**A/N:**** OK, you just about scraped 5 reviews…. Here is "The time warp" from the rock horror picture show. I want SEVEN REVIEWS before I post the next one (suggestions for the next one are counted as reviews, and I could use some suggestions….) ENJOY! R&R&R!**

It's astounding, time is fleeting  
Madness takes its toll (on Artemis)  
But listen closely—

**Opal: ****not for very much longer!  
I've got to keep control!  
**  
I remember doing the Time Warp

**Holly:**** How could you forget? We swapped eyes!  
**Drinking those moments when  
Holly Short would hit me, and Foaly would be calling  
Let's do the time warp again...

**N˚1:**** That could really do damage, you know….**  
Let's do the time warp again!

It's just a jump to the past  
And then catching a lemur  
With your past self in the manor  
You put your wig on tight

But it's the Opal conspiracy that really drives you insane,  
Let's do the Time Warp again!

It's so dreamy,

**Holly:**** oh Artemis free me! **

**Oh you can't see me?**

**Artemis:**** no not at all  
**With another Artemis, with evil intention  
**Opal: ****Well Artemis, I see all  
**With a bit of a mind flip  
You're seeing fours and fives,  
And nothing can ever be the same  
You're spaced out on sensation, like you're under sedation  
Let's do the Time Warp again!

Well I was swimming down the ocean just a-having a think  
When a squid of the sea gave me an evil wink  
He shook me up, he took me by surprise  
He had engulfing tentacles and the devil's eyes.  
He stared at me and I felt a change  
Time meant everything, yet again  
Let's do the Time Warp again!

**N˚1:**** NO! You can't! You will ruin the time line!**

**A/N: R&R&R!**


	15. Chapter 15: Don't stop believin!

**A/N:**** Don't stop believin'! We all know the classic, don't we. On suggestion, a good suggestion, **

**,** funny you should meantion "don't stop believin'", I have made an music vid on it (it's full of funny quotes and pics that go to the music!). Check it out at .com/watch?v=Ot3PJ6tNyj4

Just a small elf girl  
Livin' in an underground world  
She took the midnight egg goin' up top

Just a genius boy  
Born and raised in the outskirts o' Dublin  
He took the midnight Bentley goin' to catch a fairy

A corporal in a smoky room (Root won't stop chain smoking!)  
A smell of fungus and cheap cigars  
For a siege they can share the night  
It goes on and on and on and on

Butler's waiting  
Up and down E1  
Their shields shimmering in the night  
Fairy people  
Living with too much emotion  
Hiding somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my acorns  
Nobody wants a girl  
Payin' anything to ride the shoot just one more time

Some will win, some will lose  
If you win, you're a prodigy;

Oh, the time stop never ends  
It goes on and on and on and on

Butler's waiting  
Up and down E1  
Their shields shimmering in the night  
Fairy people  
Living with too much emotion  
Hiding somewhere in the night 

Don't stop believin'  
Hold on to that neutrino

Streetlight people

Don't stop believin'  
Hold on  
Fairy people

Don't stop believin'  
Hold on to that neutrino  
Fairy people!

**A/N: ****R&R&R! And check out my vid at: **.com/watch?v=Ot3PJ6tNyj4


	16. Chapter 16: Another one bites the dust!

**A/N:**** Mrs. ArtyFowl suggested this one, so I did it. Enjoy! Next I'm doing 'every time we touch'. I'll need SEVEN REVIEWS before I upload it, OK? I asked for 5 before and got 6, so I want to make that a seven! Enjoy!**

**Special thanks to Mrs. ArtyFowl**** for reviewing, getting others to review, and suggesting so many songs! You've been great, and funny! I'm glad you like my songs so much!**

Another on bites the dust:

Arty walks warily through the artic with the hood pulled way down low  
Ain't no sound but the sound of the wind, Neutrino's ready to go  
Are you ready? Hey, are you ready for this?

**Artemis:** **NO!**  
Are you hanging out the edge of the train?  
Underground the bullets rip to the sound of the beat, Yeah  
Another one bites the dust  
Another one bites the dust  
And another one gone  
And another one gone  
Another one bites the dust  
**Opal:** **Hey, I'm gonna get you too!**  
Another one bites the dust

**Artemis [to Holly]:**** How do you think I'm gonna get along without you when you're gone?  
****Loafers:**** You took me for everything that I had and kicked me out on my own  
****Root [to Mulch]:**** Are you happy? Are you satisfied?  
****Artemis:**** How long can fairies stand the cold?  
**Underground the bullets rip to the sound of the beat (Look out)  
Another one bites the dust  
Another one bites the dust  
And another one gone  
And another one gone  
Another one bites the dust  
**Opal:**** Hey, I'm gonna get you too!**  
Another one bites the dust

HEY  
Oh, take it  
Bite the dust  
Bite the dust yeah

Hey  
Another one bites the dust  
Another one bites the dust, oh  
Another one bites the dust, hey, hey  
Another one bites the dust, heeeeey  
Oh, shoot out

There are plenty of ways Butler can hurt a man and bring him to the ground  
He can beat him, He can cheat him  
He can treat him bad and threaten him when he's down  
**Artemis:**** But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you  
I'm standing on my own two feet **

**Holly:**** Not well, you can't make sandwiches!**  
Underground the bullets rip, repeating the sound of the beat. Oh yeeeah  
Another one bites the dust  
Another one bites the dust  
And another one gone  
And another one gone  
Another one bites the dust  
**Opal:**** Hey, I'm gonna get you too**  
Another one bites the dust  
**Opal:**** Shoot him!**  
Hey  
Alright

**A/N:**** SEVEN REVIEWS before next update! R&R&R! **


	17. Chapter 17: Every time we touch!

**A/N:**** Hiya! WOW! You can really review fast! Here's 'every time we touch'. Very A/H-y. Up next is 'These boots were made for walkin''. OMG! I've got ****93 REVIEWS. ****Plus the 7 I need for this chapter = ****100 REVIEWS**

***Hyperventilates*….R&R&R! ENJOY! ^.^**

**Every time we touch!**

**Holly: ****I still hear your voice when I sleep in Haven  
****Artemis: ****I still feel your touch in my dreams  
Forgive me Holly, but I think I know why….**

Holly: [sighing] I might die of supprise…  
**Artemis: ****Without Butler it's hard to survive  
**  
'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling  
And everytime we kiss I swear I could see a gorilla.  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast,  
**Opal:**** I want them to die!  
****Holly:**** Need you by my side  
**  
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the magic  
And everytime we kiss I reach for the lemur  
Can't you hear my heart beat so  
**Holly:**** I can't let you go  
Want you in my world  
**  
**Artemis:**** Your arms are my manor  
****Holly:**** Your heart is my sky  
**They wipe away tears that I cry  
The horrible and the bad times  
We've been through them all  
You make me rise when I fall

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling  
And everytime we kiss I swear I could see a gorilla  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast,  
**Opal:**** I want them to die!  
****Holly:**** Need you by my side  
**  
**Artemis:**** 'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the magic  
And everytime we kiss I reach for the lemur  
**Can't you hear my heart beat so  
**Holly:**** I can't let you go  
Want you in my world  
**  
'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling  
And everytime we kiss I swear I don't want to fly,  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast,  
**Opal:**** I want them to die!  
****Holly:**** Need you by my side**

**A/N: R&R&R! I wonder who will get the 100****th**** review? Hm….  
**


	18. Chapter 18: These boots!

**READ! URGENT! A/N:**** WHOA! 102 REVIEWS! That's nine reviews for that chapter. Given you did that, I want 10 REVIEWS for NEXT UPDATE. **

**Mrs. ArtyFowl got the 100****th**** review. She/you (if you are her reading this) is a dedicated reader! With VERY good suggestions! My suggestion list 10 songs long, so I want TEN REVIEWS PER CHAPTER! R&R&R!**

[Sung by Opal]

Are you ready Brill?  
Start playing  
Yee haw  
Let's go

You keep saying you got something for me (uh)  
Well officer I don't mind to say you do  
Now your looking right where I thought you'd be looking  
Guns come handy when laws in front of you

These Softnoses are made for shooting  
And that's just what they'll do  
One of these days these guns are gonna shoot towards you

You believe you've stopped me for good (uh)  
Now I'm pretending my evils are over (just for fun)  
You keep working where I got you working (yeah)  
These doubledex wings are work to run

These guns are made for shooting  
And that's just what they'll do  
One of these days these guns are gonna shoot towards you

I'm the girl with the good ol' slaves who mean you harm  
Just got a way with escaping the clinic  
There ain't no crime in getting what I want if no one is alive to object

Swerve my stride  
Bat my sexy eyes  
**Pex and Chips:**** Where our guns at? (haha)**  
Strut ya stuff come on

**Scant Brill:**** Hey ya****'****ll **

**Opal:**** 'Ya'll' is slang. I will not be spoken to in slang!  
**Wanna come and see something (uh uh, uh uh)  
Can't touch, can I get a hand clap for the way I work my back

**Opal:**** No? Oh yes, you're tied up.  
**Shoot shoot all around the plaza 'n' won't stop it  
Push ya trigger! like this!  
Can I get my Twinky?  
Can I get my Goodboy?

You keep thinking what you shouldn't be thinking

**Opal:**** I CAN hear your thoughts, you know!  
**Another two bullets get you down now you kissing ground  
I'ma gonna send you to the grave crying  
But Giovanni Zito he sure is gonna be proud

These guns are made for shooting  
And that's just what they'll do  
One of theses days these guns are goanna shoot three holes in you

These guns are made for shooting  
And that's just what they'll do  
One of theses days these guns are goanna shoot three holes in you

Come on Brill!  
Stop!  
Come on Scant!

**Scant Brill:**** Hey ya****'****ll **

**Opal:**** What did I say about slang?**

Wanna come and see something (uh uh, uh uh)  
Can't touch, can I get a hand clap for the way I work my back

**Opal:**** No? Oh yes, you're tied up.  
**Tick tock goes the bomb drop it [on Artemis]  
Push the tigure, like that  
Can I get my Twinky?  
Can I get my Goodboy?

Come on Brill!

Brill: ohh yeah….[Opal stomps on foot] owww!

Opal: Slang!  
Whoo hoo!  
Opal Koboi everybody! (uh)  
Take me home boys, then I want a pedicure, a….

**A/N:**** R&R&R! Next is California Gurls. After that I have ten on my list, so be patient if your suggestion/request isn't publish right away. Ten review's please, then I will update! ^.^ **


	19. Chapter 19: California Gurls!

**A/N: ****REALLY SORRY X 10000000000000 for the MEGA LATE UPDATE! My internet stopped working! Oh well, here it is: California Gurls. Enjoy! 10 reviews for the next chapter! R&R&R!**

[Artemis]  
Greetings everyone  
Let's take a journey 

[Holly]  
I know a place  
Where the grass is really greener [Ireland]

Artemis: Only due to contributing factors like—

All: Shut up!  
Cold, wet and wild  
There must be something in the water [giant squid]  
Sippin' sim-juice  
Livin' underneath the ground  
(Undercover)  
The officers break their necks  
Tryin' to stop the goblin rebellion  
(Lead by Opal)

Mulch: You could travel the world  
But nothing comes close to the Golden Globe  
Once you steal those  
You'll be falling in love  
(Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh)

Haven gurls (and boys!), we're unforgettable

Foaly: That's what you think.  
Titanium eggs, shoots to the top  
Sun-kissed skin, so hot, we'll melt your nano-flakes  
(Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh)  
(Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh)  
Haven gurls (and boys!), we're undeniable

Artemis: Well, I'm not bragging, but I think you will find Butler very _persuasive._  
Gold, Diamonds, pearls, we got it locked up

Mulch: I'll still get into it.  
Root: Thieving ugly dwarf, now put your hands up  
(Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh)  
(Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh)

Siege, in a manor  
We don't mind guns when it comes to humans  
We kiss, in a gorilla cage  
Foaly is on the case

Mulch: You could travel the world  
But nothing comes close to the Golden Globe  
Once you steal those  
You'll be falling in love  
(Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh)

Haven gurls (and boys!), we're unforgettable

Foaly: That's what you think.  
Daisy dukes, shoots to the top  
Sun-kissed skin, so hot, we'll melt your nano-flakes  
(Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh)  
(Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh) 

Haven gurls (and boys!), we're undeniable

Artemis: Well, I'm not bragging, but I think you will find Butler very _persuasive._  
Gold, Diamonds, pearls, we got it locked up

Mulch: I'll still get into it.  
Root: Thieving ugly dwarf, now put your hands up  
(Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh)  
(Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh)

[Artemis raps]  
Tone tanned, fit and ready (for any attack – apart from mine!)  
turn it [the setting on the gun] up Butler, 'cause firings heavy!  
Mulch: Alluring, alluring Gold globe,  
this is the gold I love the most!  
I mean the ones,  
I mean, like, she's the one,  
kiss her, touch her, polish her sides!

?: The boy's a freak,  
he has a butler and an IQ of 200,

Artemis: _who_ are you calling a freak?  
?: Never mind, You're okay, I won't say what I think,  
I love intelligent people, just like I love L. A.,  
Square root of two and Dissecting things,  
intelligence is everything!

Home boys hanging out,  
Chix: all this monotonous work, get me out!  
Neutrinos, Bio-bombs, Stun guns, no softnoses!,  
Just a goblin and a psychopath,  
Holly, my lady, (Oh, yay, Orion's back)  
You looking here princess (UH!)!  
I'm in love with you,  
'Cause you representing Beauty (Somebody punch Orion out!)!

[Holly]  
Haven gurls (and boys!), we're unforgettable

Foaly: That's what you think.  
Daisy dukes, shoots to the top  
Sun-kissed skin, so hot, we'll melt your nano-flakes  
(Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh)  
(Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh)  
Haven gurls (and boys!), we're undeniable

Artemis: Well, I'm not bragging, but I think you will find Butler very _persuasive._  
Gold, Diamonds, pearls, we got it locked up

Mulch: I'll still get into it.  
Root: Thieving ugly dwarf, now put your hands up  
(Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh)  
(Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh) 

**A/N:****10 reviews for the next chapter! R&R&R!**


	20. Chapter 20: Smarter Cooler than me!

**A/N: ****I can't believe I have so many reviews. I read them all, every single one, and it's great to know there is not one bad review, it means a lot to me. **

** Jdog disco 1.1 and Artemis Fowl II – your reviews are some of the nicest I have received, thank you very much. **

** Igpay Atinlay – Hello! I speak little pig latin! What does **_**Isthay isay ay eryvay oodgay irycslay! Oodgay objay!**_** Mean?**

**And another thanks to Michelle Berlin (used to be Mrs. Arty Fowl) for loads of suggestions, and always reviewing. Thanks Michelle! It means a lot to me! **

**Here is "Cooler than me" by Mike Posner at the request of someone, and I'm very sorry for forgetting who! ENJOY! **

[Sung by Foaly]

If I could write you an equation,  
and make you respect me,  
I would already have you working for me.  
I used to pull all my tricks,  
I hope that you like this.  
but you probably won't,  
you think you're smarter than me.

you got mirror shades,  
just to hide your eyes and  
you wear them around like  
you're smarter than me.  
and you never say hey,

**Artemis:** **Slang is stupid!**  
and remember pi.  
its probably cuz,  
you think you're smarter than me.

you got your strong butler,  
and caviar meals,  
and you eat them everyday,  
like they ain't [Artemis steps on Foaly's foot, as Artemis wants to get a few insults in] D'Arvit!  
**Artemis:**** But you don't know,  
the way that you look,  
when your steps  
make  
that  
much  
noise.  
**  
See I got you,  
all figured out,  
you need interpol's eyes just to feel seen.  
Mudman, your so vain,  
you probably think that this song is about you.  
don't you? don't you?  
**Artemis:**** It is**.

If I could write you an equation,  
and make you respect me,  
I would already have you working for me.  
I used to pull all my tricks,  
I hope that you like this.  
but you probably won't,  
you think you're smarter than me.

you got mirror shades,  
just to hide your eyes and  
you wear them around like  
you're smarter than me.  
and you never say hey,

**Artemis:** **Slang is stupid!**  
and remember pi.  
its probably cuz,  
you think you're smarter than me.

you got your manor,  
and private lab,  
and you don't have any social skills,.  
**Artemis:**** But you don't know,  
the way that you look,  
when your steps  
make  
that  
much  
noise.  
**  
**Holly:**** And don't you dare act like you don't know,  
know what's up,  
cuz your nose is up.  
I'm not trusting you.  
Like I can't give my trust any more since you lied**

**or ****kiss you again  
It's not fair on me.  
trying to look calm in a crisis  
you probably is,  
Was acting fine 'til you found out  
how we can save the world.**

Foaly:Mr. Prima Donna, this is your reminder  
That I think you're smart, but I'm smarter  
**  
Holly: 'Cause it sure seems  
('Cause it sure seems)  
You got no doubt  
(That you got no doubt)  
But we all see  
(We all see)  
You're gonna be wrong one day  
(one day)  
**  
Foaly: If I could write you an equation,  
and make you respect me,  
I would already have you working for me.  
I used to pull all my tricks,  
I hope that you like this.  
but you probably won't,  
you think you're smarter than me.

you got designer shades,  
just to hide your face and  
you wear them around like,  
you're cooler than me.  
and you never say hey,  
or remember my name.  
its probably cuz,  
you think you're cooler than me.

**A/N: Well? Ten reviews for the next chapter, tell me what you thought!**


End file.
